I don't want to minimize this day by my brevity, but I also don't want to focus on this day because of the heartache is has caused my wife and I.
En route to work my wife blacked-out on the QE2 and ended up in the ditch. As soon as I found out I frantically drove to the scene where I met her. She was shaking and disoriented. The paramedics took to her to the Royal Alexandra.
After 8 hours of testing we found out that she and the baby were fine and there were no complications or abnormalities caused from the accident.
On the way home from the hospital we were listening to CNN on the radio. There was an earthquake in Haiti. To put it in to perspective. We lost a car that was insured...so many Haitians lost everything and everyone they loved. Looking back on this day, I can honestly say it was the most frightening day of my life...
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Traveler 011110
I received the text from my brother this morning at 11:53:11 AM.
Baby Boy 10:24 AM 7lbs 10 Oz
My 4th nephew arrived today. We'll call him the traveller (the definition of his given names). I thought that I wouldn't be as excited to meet him as I was when I met his brother, but that completely went away once I held him in my arms. He was very alert and seemed to be aware that we were all there to meet him. My wife held him close to her chest and began to sway side to side. This was the first time that I pictured her as motherly. The traveller's mother (my sister-in-law) was in the bed; doing fine, but on the mend. I thought to myself, in 4 1/2 months our visitor will arrive to planet earth.
Baby Boy 10:24 AM 7lbs 10 Oz
My 4th nephew arrived today. We'll call him the traveller (the definition of his given names). I thought that I wouldn't be as excited to meet him as I was when I met his brother, but that completely went away once I held him in my arms. He was very alert and seemed to be aware that we were all there to meet him. My wife held him close to her chest and began to sway side to side. This was the first time that I pictured her as motherly. The traveller's mother (my sister-in-law) was in the bed; doing fine, but on the mend. I thought to myself, in 4 1/2 months our visitor will arrive to planet earth.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Realizations and Resolutions
In the 2009, I was focused a lot on satisfying my wants. I had the financial means to, so why not right? Wrong...I realized that the happiest moment in 2009 had nothing to do with material wants. It was the day I married my beautiful wife. Although you could argue that the cost of it was out-of-control, I would say to you that if I was to marry her in my parent's backyard, ordered take-out and listened to iPod tunes, I would have been equally as content. I think that balancing needs with wants is something that I struggle with, but this one of the values I want to instill in my son...Everything that glitters ain't always gold...
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
One Red Fish and the Trisomy 21 Dilemma
On December 4th, 2009 I received a call from my wife saying that she had to go over her blood test results. I was at work when I received the call.
"Curtis, the doctor's office called me to come in to go over the lab results of the blood test. That usually means that something is wrong. They only call you if something is wrong..."
We spent 10 minutes on the phone contemplating about what it could be. I was worried, but I tried not to express that to Sheena over the phone.
I spent the next couple of hours trying to focus on work, but I couldn't. What in the hell was wrong with my child?
I kept trying Sheena's cell phone...I believe after the 3rd time (or maybe the 10th time) I got a hold of her.
The next words were ones I did not expect to hear come out of her mouth.
"I tested positive for Down's Syndrome"
My heart sank. This was the first time I felt helpless and unable protect my child. (At this point we didn't know the baby's gender)
I am afraid to say I also felt selfish, "I said to myself, why me? Why us?...This isn't fair" I was going through a lot of emotions.
I felt guilt, fear, anger, and frustration. For a moment I was afraid I wouldn't be able to love my child the way I should. I know that this was wrong, but it was just a feeling.
I dropped everything at work and called Sheena back. She was with her sister so I drove to my parents to talk to my mother. My mother is a doula and I knew that she would be able to offer me words of encouragement. Which she did...Even at 35 a chat with your mother is still great for the soul.
She explained to me that the odds of having a child with Down's is very unlikely, but not at all devastating. (She used to work in special education for 20 years before becoming a doula). She used an amazing analogy to explain how it works.
She said, "Imagine the chromosomes as fish in the sea. Most of the fish are healthy and grayish in colour, but there are a few fish that are not as healthy. These ones are red in color."
The Second Trimester Prenatal Screening stated that our odds of having a child with Down's is 1:8. In simple terms, there were 7 healthy fish and one "no so healthy" fish in the sea. I guess the odds of catching the rare red fish were slim.
The prenatal screening also stated that Sheena was further along in the pregancy than we thought. It said she was 17 weeks 5 days, we thought she was only 14 weeks pregnant.
At this point we decided to schedule an amniocentesis. Sheena and I decided that no matter what the results showed, we would not terminate the pregnancy. I do not pass judgement to anyone who has decided otherwise, but I felt that this was the right decision for us. Sheena said it best, "How could we have an abortion when we heard a heart beating."
So 4 days later I drove Sheena to the hospital.
"Sheena?", the nurse called. She went in for the amnio...I think it took about 30 minutes. I had to leave to meet a client for an appointment so I called her dad to pick her up from the hospital. She took the day off and spent the entire day with papa Smurf. (Mama Smurf was in India at the time).
The OBGYN had told us that if we didn't hear from her in 10-14 days we should be okay.
We waited.
and waited
and waited...
There was a message on the phone on the 14th day.
"Hi this message is for Sheena. Can you please call our office back at your earliest convenience?"
We couldn't call the office back that day because it was closed. So we waited until the morning.
Sheena called me at the work the next morning to tell me that our baby boy was going to be healthy and we were right about the gestational age! We were elated and felt blessed that we received such good news. It was December 23rd when we found this out.
It was probably the best Christmas present either of us had ever received.
"Curtis, the doctor's office called me to come in to go over the lab results of the blood test. That usually means that something is wrong. They only call you if something is wrong..."
We spent 10 minutes on the phone contemplating about what it could be. I was worried, but I tried not to express that to Sheena over the phone.
I spent the next couple of hours trying to focus on work, but I couldn't. What in the hell was wrong with my child?
I kept trying Sheena's cell phone...I believe after the 3rd time (or maybe the 10th time) I got a hold of her.
The next words were ones I did not expect to hear come out of her mouth.
"I tested positive for Down's Syndrome"
My heart sank. This was the first time I felt helpless and unable protect my child. (At this point we didn't know the baby's gender)
I am afraid to say I also felt selfish, "I said to myself, why me? Why us?...This isn't fair" I was going through a lot of emotions.
I felt guilt, fear, anger, and frustration. For a moment I was afraid I wouldn't be able to love my child the way I should. I know that this was wrong, but it was just a feeling.
I dropped everything at work and called Sheena back. She was with her sister so I drove to my parents to talk to my mother. My mother is a doula and I knew that she would be able to offer me words of encouragement. Which she did...Even at 35 a chat with your mother is still great for the soul.
She explained to me that the odds of having a child with Down's is very unlikely, but not at all devastating. (She used to work in special education for 20 years before becoming a doula). She used an amazing analogy to explain how it works.
She said, "Imagine the chromosomes as fish in the sea. Most of the fish are healthy and grayish in colour, but there are a few fish that are not as healthy. These ones are red in color."
The Second Trimester Prenatal Screening stated that our odds of having a child with Down's is 1:8. In simple terms, there were 7 healthy fish and one "no so healthy" fish in the sea. I guess the odds of catching the rare red fish were slim.
The prenatal screening also stated that Sheena was further along in the pregancy than we thought. It said she was 17 weeks 5 days, we thought she was only 14 weeks pregnant.
At this point we decided to schedule an amniocentesis. Sheena and I decided that no matter what the results showed, we would not terminate the pregnancy. I do not pass judgement to anyone who has decided otherwise, but I felt that this was the right decision for us. Sheena said it best, "How could we have an abortion when we heard a heart beating."
So 4 days later I drove Sheena to the hospital.
"Sheena?", the nurse called. She went in for the amnio...I think it took about 30 minutes. I had to leave to meet a client for an appointment so I called her dad to pick her up from the hospital. She took the day off and spent the entire day with papa Smurf. (Mama Smurf was in India at the time).
The OBGYN had told us that if we didn't hear from her in 10-14 days we should be okay.
We waited.
and waited
and waited...
There was a message on the phone on the 14th day.
"Hi this message is for Sheena. Can you please call our office back at your earliest convenience?"
We couldn't call the office back that day because it was closed. So we waited until the morning.
Sheena called me at the work the next morning to tell me that our baby boy was going to be healthy and we were right about the gestational age! We were elated and felt blessed that we received such good news. It was December 23rd when we found this out.
It was probably the best Christmas present either of us had ever received.
Monday, December 28, 2009
The Proverbial Launch Procedure
To say that this year has been a whirlwind would be an understatement. (I apologize for the cliche) It has been exciting, overwhelming and even frightening. I recently married my beautiful friend Sheena on August 22nd, 2009.
On top of this, we are also building a new home to shelter our expectant family. What we didn't expect is that we would be having our first child so soon. We found out we were pregnant near the end of September and it all started when Sheena told me her period was three days late. I was secretly hoping she was pregnant, but I think Sheena was in denial. We went to the drug store to purchase a pregnancy test to put our query to rest...
On top of this, we are also building a new home to shelter our expectant family. What we didn't expect is that we would be having our first child so soon. We found out we were pregnant near the end of September and it all started when Sheena told me her period was three days late. I was secretly hoping she was pregnant, but I think Sheena was in denial. We went to the drug store to purchase a pregnancy test to put our query to rest...
Finding out we were pregnant was the most the most fantastic news I've ever received in my adult life. Regardless of what your beliefs are you have to admit that there is something truly magical about bringing a life into this planet. It is probably one of the most beautiful things humans can do. I don't want to take this moment for granted considering there are so many people who long to have children, but are unable to due to medical reasons.
At 16 weeks we had our first ultrasound. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. I have heard stories and seen numerous ultrasound photos from friends and family. But, when you see your own child swimming around in your wife's belly. Man alive! It was the most peaceful sight I ever seen. During this time the ultrasound tech pointed out another interesting fact about our child. There they were...that's MY boy!! His lips were protruding. He yawned and was feasting on the amniotic fluid in his mother's belly. It was a short visit, but I probably could have stared at that screen all day.
So the countdown begins, expected launch date May 26th, 2010.
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